northern people in the south

Dear people from the North,

Please take your surly attitude back up North.

If I call you "honey," "sweetie," "sweetheart," "hun," or anything mildly related, take it as a compliment that I felt compelled to be overly nice to you. DO NOT tell me that "it's rude," because then I'll have to show you what rude is. I'll have you know that you are in the South, not the other way around sweetheart. If you would rather I call you bitch, since that's what you are, I gladly will.

-insert mic drop-

Signed,

Every Southern Person in Hospitality